What if I don’t feel like sharing everything during the first sessions, but I still wish to address my problem?
I struggled to share things when I started to have emotional healing sessions with practitioners. And it is not only about emotions such as embarrassment, shame, remorse, or fear of being judged. It also includes the following concerns:
- You are unsure what will come out during the session (what emotions, what memories, or what thought processes). As a result, you can feel less in control, especially during the first sessions.
- Will the coach understand me? Will they speak my language, especially will they understand how I process things? Is the coach safe to open up to?
- Won’t they apply their ideas of what healing means for them to my experiences?
Consider all the parts trying to protect you in the past; maybe it was not safe to share in the environment where you grew up; you would get judged, criticized, or scolded for sharing, being you, or making a mistake.
So it is understandable that you are not ready to discuss the problem or share painful memories with a stranger. Maybe you don’t even want to think about the problem, memories or how you felt. And that is okay. During the session, it is possible to honor your protective parts and not create additional stress for you by forcing the protector parts to give in and share something they are not ready to share.
During the session:
- We do not want to force the part that is trying to protect you by demanding it to share the details it does not feel comfortable sharing. You can be totally honest and share only what feels right. We work with the protective parts and do not force them to be in a certain way ( i.e. to share just because that is what you are supposed to do during the session, we will not rape them with more shoulds, other people’s ideas, etc.)
- You deserve emotional freedom, meaning to work on your issue even if you are not ready to share it with the world or practitioner.
- It makes sense your system needs to test if the practitioner is safe and trustworthy, understands you, and if you are on the same wavelength. Don’t rush into anything.
- You deserve to work on your issue at your own pace in a safe environment. It is solely up to you if you decide to share something during or after the session.
- Sharing your story or memories is not required for the session’s effectiveness.
My favorite techniques are, for instance, Silent movie (bridge techniques) and Chasing the Pain (gentle technique).
- Silent Movie. How does it work? You give the challenging memory a title (like you would be creating the title for a movie). If you do not want to share the title, that is okay too. Subsequently, you play the stressful event in your mind silently, without talking about it. Then, as a practitioner, I will guide you through the emotionally intense peaks of the memory so you don’t get lost without me knowing your story.
- Chasing the pain. This technique is used to determine the emotions contributing to a physical symptom without sharing the details of the memories.
To sum up, if you do not feel like talking about your issue, I understand. I am a stranger to you at this point. We can use so-called gentle techniques and address your issue without talking (or even thinking) about it.
If this resonates with you, you can book a 1:1 session with me here.