how to decrease social anxiety

Do I Have Trauma? What is Emotional Trauma?

Trauma is an emotional response to a challenging event. It can be a response to physical or emotional event.  Trauma isn’t always blatant; it can be hidden within the subtleties of our lives, shaping our perceptions, reactions, and relationships. It is obvious that certain experiences create a trauma, like war, rape or intense physical experiences but emotional trauma can be can be silent and often challenging to pinpoint.  Also It is not necessarily a one-time event but also a recurring event during our early life when we are most vulnerable.

Trauma is something we all experience – our conscious thinking mind is not available to us until we are 6 years old, so we don’t have objective mind at disposal and take everything personally.

Every body experienced emotional trauma to some degree in the childhood, some things we cary form ancestry, birth trauma. We normalize trauma healing and look for the original wound. 

What triggers the search for core issues?

Than we get to the point in our lives where we are not happy, we are stressed, we are experiencing anxiety, shame, struggle with money, in relationships and instead of looking for the origin of the problem, we concluded, often subconsciously okay I am like this, lazy or anxious or not good enough. Where actually it is more like part of me feels not good enough because which I was growing up one of my parents was very critical and I internalized the voice. 

Instead of investigating the root cause, we tend to accept these struggles as part of who we are, failing to recognize that they might be linked to our past experiences.

Acknowledging the presence of trauma isn’t about assigning blame but bringing awareness and healing to our inner child. It’s a journey of self-discovery that peels away layers of conditioning and unearths the impact of past experiences on our present selves.


Nobody thought us about emotions. It was not part of our primary school curriculum. Yet emotions/challenging thoughts/beliefs{inner world  we want to change influence us on a daily basis greatly. We have this big emotions and we dont know what to do with it. Suppress it, or find some coping mechanisms. Emotions show us our conditioning.

Emotion is not a problem, but the addiction/attachment to a particular emotion, complete identification with an emotion, creates problem. 

It’s a stuck energy that’s ready to be transformed and updated.

Let’s normalize trauma healing.

We normalised to clean our teeth daily, or exercise 3 times per week. Lets normalize emotional work and deconditioning as well. Normalize trauma healing, making the connections with the past, it is not about blaming but bringing awareness and healing and updating our inner children. 

It’s not merely about coping with overwhelming emotions but understanding the origins of these feelings and transforming the stuck energy within us.

As we understand our personal pain, where it is coming from, understand the dynamics in our family of origin and how is affected us, we also start seeing collective trauma/ see it in broader structures such as society, or work, community, politics.

 It is a pattern that we learned to recognise in our immediate environment. We are able to see it also on the collective level / workplace, society, politics. 

Example – The manipulation strategies, stealing the power, believing we are small players, beliving we have to do something we dont want to do, believing we dont have the power, we dont have a choice.

It is a numbers game – more of us awaken the better our future will be.

Collective trauma and connections with personal trauma.

While navigating our personal healing journey, it becomes evident that this process isn’t confined to the individual. By delving into our family dynamics and personal pains, we gain insight into broader societal structures. Recognizing patterns on a collective level, such as in society, the workplace, or politics, enables us to take responsibility and pave the way for a more emotionally resilient future. Pat generations were more about physical survival.


In this journey of understanding and healing, the question “Do I have trauma?” gradually transforms into an exploration of our inner selves. We learn to provide the care and attention to our inner wounded parts as we would to a child. This healing journey doesn’t aim to assign fault or separate us further but instead encourages empathy, compassion, and  understanding.  We become the parents to those young parts.

Embracing daily practices that nurture emotional healing becomes essential. Learning to engage with modalities that resonate with us and implementing exercises that connect us with our triggered emotional states is a practical step in this journey. By soothing these emotional upheavals, addressing them with compassion and understanding, we gradually unravel the layers of our traumas and pave the way for personal and collective healing.

 If we dont deal with personal trauma  I will distract myself or pass it on in some way.

Doing all these without pointing fingers, division and walking our path with courage, and having the acceptance for others. Without division, but with kindness and compassion.

Healing Modalities 

Emotional healing practice, an EFT (a fantastic tool for processing traumas), and IFS – working with different parts and their roles in the system.

IFS – I am looking at my emotion/ boughs/ body sensations as a part of me that could be carrying burdens from the past, didn’t have chance to process emotions – and not who I actually am. I am not not angry person but I have an angry part and lets look t it why is she so angry.

EFT – emergency to calm down the nervous system in the moment of trigger or after the triggering event.

Daily Practice. What can I do today? 

Learn the basics of modality that resonates with you.

Short exercise: Connect with the socially anxious part in the moment of a trigger. 

Lets say you feel anxiety

When you have already got in touch with the anxious part of you, and it becomes activated again, here is what you can do as first aid: 

  1. Find a minute or two where you can be with yourself.
  2. Take a deep breath and recognize the energy pattern of shame and fear.s

If we have time to breath it means it is not life and death situation. 

Subsequently, connect to this energy/ most likely it is a young part of you that is really scared. 

3.Express tell him/her what they need to hear; make it simple with statements 

such as: 

“It’s okay.”
“I am here for you.”, “I hear you.””I see you are freaking out; it’s okay.”
“What if they are interested in what I am about to say?” (For instance: in the case of public speaking)
“It’s okay; my body is having this reaction.” 

Or just be there with this part in a way this part wants you to be with you. 

Note: Your response towards the part can also be non-verbal by witnessing this part’s emotions, being with it, or hugging it. See what is needed.  Have a look at the modalities I work with,  with my clients. 

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